please do not feed the photographer

Q: Do wedding photographers eat?

A: Okay, that's a fair question. Short answer, yes. Long answer, it depends.

Wedding planning sites are full of information on whether or not you should feed your photographer (and other vendors). Some say, "hell, yes!" (well, only my blog says that, the others say that in so many words) Others say yes, but not a full meal. Still others say only on days ending with a "Y," so yeah, it can get confusing.

Bummer to worry about the etiquette of feeding your vendors when you're planning your day. I mean, it is your day, not the photographer's (it's okay, I acknowledge this going in). On the day of your wedding, your head is in a million places, and I hope the least of them is what your photographer is eating.

But surprisingly, a lot of brides stress over this. Many of my brides have worried about me like mama birds: "have you eaten anything?" "make sure you eat something!"

Like absolutely everything else about your wedding, this is a personal choice. Strictly speaking, it's pretty standard to allow for something to feed your photographers and vendors. If for no other reason, because you don't want them fainting over from low blood sugar. That does not mean you have to sit them down at a table with your guests.

For me, meal time is break time. I don't take pictures of people eating because no matter how pretty the people are, and no matter how pretty the food is, the pictures are most likely not going to be pretty. Meal time is when Mr. Susan (my assistant/husband) and I go off and take a break; get something to drink, grab some bread from the caterers, etc. We don't go far because you never know when that special uncle of yours is going to feel verkelmpt by all the love in the room and grab the mic to make his toast. And yeah, um...that's something I definitely want to shoot. 

Boils down to this: Just ask. I can't speak for other vendors, but I usually tell the bride if she needs to feed me, and I tell her I'm vegetarian. But this is something we talk about in person, at our meeting, when we're getting to know one another and feel comfortable with one another.

That's how I like to keep my weddings: personal, simple and friendly.

I've been given boxed lunches, seats at guest tables and have sneaked food from the caterer (don't hate, they always make more than they're going to use). But I always have some energy bars in my bag so I don't worry about it too much. If I get really hungry, I'll send Mr. Susan out to get us something to nibble on (and yes, he in fact does like to be called Mr. Susan). 

I never sit with the guests because it just feels weird. These are your friends, and I don't know them and I'm being paid to be there. There have been a few  exceptions: notably at Mai and Rich's wedding, they made sure to sit me with some people who had the same interests (read: obsessions) as I do: horror films, and most recently, Michelle & John's wedding, where Robyn pretty much dragged me by the hair to our seats.

I'm glad she did, we had some great conversation with people who had lived in Berkeley and we talked about Hi-Tech Burrito and other restaurants. And I, of course, shot the food. 

Comments

[minta]

as always ....gr8 post ...=)

[susan sabo photography]

thanks, m :)

[Jolene Oldham]

Ah, to feed or not to feed, that is the question.

It's been my experience, after having been second-shooter/apprentice to a very established pair of wedding photographers, that usually the photographers eat pretty well. These two photogs have been in the business, are pretty high-end, and worked in the area for over twenty years and know virtually all the people who run the wedding factories. So I do have to admit that we probably ate better than new and unfamiliar photographers.

These are the typical scenarios:

1: No food for the photographers at all.

I don't understand that one. The photogs are the first ones there, we are with you all day, and will be the only source of proof of the day. We are the ones who are going to preserve your memories and make you look damned good... and you aren't going to feed us? Good luck at hiding that second chin or wobbly upper arms. (Usually, the venue manager will make you a sandwich or a plate and let you eat in a side room or the kitchen.)

2: You get to take a break and eat as much as you like during the cocktail hour.

I personally prefer eating during the cocktail hour. Lots of variety, manageable proportions... I don't like to eat heavy while I'm shooting anyway.

3: Full dinner, away from the guests, usually with the band.

You have to dash through this one, because speeches, cake cutting, hora, bouquet all follow pretty quickly... hard to chase all that around with a full belly.

4: Party hearty free for all

This is when everyone is so happy and full of love (and alcohol) that you've become the newest member of the family. They want you in the middle of everything, are dragging you from table to table to get specific groups shots - college buddies, sisters, etc... and they will MAKE you sit nearby and eat and make sure you don't miss a perceived photo op. I like this one.

Off the top tips: No drinking, but stay hydrated; Shoot the formal portraits as soon as you can get everybody dressed and together, so everyone looks their freshest - get the grandparents and/or children first; If you're shooting tables, keep a sharp eye for when a table fills completely and shoot it ASAP, no one like shots with plates of half eaten food. That's why food photogs make so much; Make sure the bride knows you are on her side, you are there to make her look beautiful on her special day. 99% of the time, the wedding is all about the bride.

Also, enjoy the occasion. If you look happy, then the clients and guests will feel you care not only about doing the job, but care about the people involved.

Anyway, Susan... there's my rant.

xoxox
J

[Hypnotherapy London]

Great photos!